Time is a monster
by HIddensoul1978
Summary: A nonchapter story about Spike's thoughts and feelings about Buffy. No dialogue. Please review...these are some of my first stories and I am sure there is room for improvement.


Time is the Monster

"Don't fall in love with someone you can live with, Fall in love with someone you can't live without."

Time was even more of a monster than he was. Spike was sure of that. If his 120 years on this wretched earth had taught him nothing else. It had taught him painfully that time was a bitch. Time could bring you your greatest desire or your worst nightmare. Time could be your best friend or your worst enemy. Given enough of it, Time could bring your dreams true or bring your worst fears to life. Time had done both for Spike. For a vampire, time was the only thing, besides blood, that was abundantly available. Time had brought him his greatest gifts. Bad timing gave him Dru when he needed her. Turning was the best thing that could of happened to him, at the time anyhow. It had made him strong and powerful, something he would never have dreamed of as a human. Time had also gave him his greatest accomplishments as a vamp – the killing of 2 slayers and paying all the pancies back who had tormented him when he was human. He was a vamp after all. But time had also dealt its share of blows.

Time had saw fit to take his dark goddess and leave him alone. She had saw the truth of things. Time teasing her away slowly. That almost broken him. But he survived, vengeance driving it. Then time really put the screws to him. Time had saw fit to put him right back in the one place that would torment him the most – bleedin, buggerin Sunnyhell. Here there were ghosts both old and new that could drive the strongest Master Vampire to a leisurely afternoon stroll in the sun. And Spike was almost there. Time was slowing killing him and he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

Time liked to tease him with how nice it could be. It used Red's will be done spell to give him a taste, a crumb of what getting his heart's greatest desire would be like. For an instant, Buffy loved him as much as he loved her. She wanted him. Her kisses and sweet words proved it. But then it all got snatched away. Spike wasn't sure what hurt more – the realization that it was only a spell or the look of disgust on Buffy's face. Then time decided he wasn't finished – forcing him to watch Buffy walk away with Captain America like nothing had happened. All of it was like a huge knife twisting in his undead heart. It created a wound that might never heal. But it made Spike sure of one thing – he was not longer it's bitch.

Spike had come to a decision – he was goin to do all he could to fight back, to get what he wanted, to prove he wa a man and not just a monster. He especially wanted to prove to Buffy that he could be an ally, an asset, a partner, and most especially he could be someone she could trust, depend on, and if he was lucky enough – love,. He knew it would take a tremendous amount of work, patience, and time. And time was the one thing he had plenty of. He just had to make sure that the Slayer had it too. For the first time in years, Spike was passionate aobut something and he hoped that his passion would pay off.

Spike knew it would be a long, hard road. So no time like the present. He knew Buffy would be pissed if he fed on the populace. That wasn't an issue since the chip had gotten shoved in his head. He knew he would bag it, chip or not. Spike also thought that it might gain some ground with Buffy if he started patrolling. He tried his best to avoid her, so he patrolled other areas of Sunnydale. He would take out demons and vamps. And a few times caught actual criminals. Knowing how Buffy would react if he killed them, he started dumping them trussed up like a turkey on the steps to the police station. They'd be so scared, a flash of fang and swirl of leather would do that. They would confess to all their sins. It worked pretty well until Buffy figured it out. When she stormed into his crypt, she wasn't exactly overjoyed. She decked him in the nose, told him to knock it off convienced he was up to something. Then marched back out. He didn't say a word and Buffy never noticed. Of course he was up to something but it wasn't evil and he wasn't ready for her to know yet.

So,, Spike continued his quest. He also decided to add another layer to his plans. He started spending time with Joyce and Dawn. dHe would stop by the Slayer's house for hot chocolate with those little marshmellows when he knew Buffy would be gone. He would even come by the art gallery during the day to help Joyce unload crates and arrange the heavier pieces. He would stop by to spend time with Dawn, talking to her about the world, her problems, and even helping with her homework. They all spent the time talking and even laughing. It warmed his undead heart. He truly liked joyce, a soft spot for all the Summer's women. Joyce and Dawn liked him. They had said so. It was a lucky visit that had Spike detecting something off with Joyce. He told her and she had it checked out. It was a small spot in her brain that went away with a single treatment. Spike knew Joyce would tell Buffy and he hoped she would be something besides angrey with him. But no such luck. Again Buffy stormed in, busted his nose, and told him to stop before marching back out. Spike wasn't out of patience or ideas yet. Then time decided to help him out for once.

Over the next several months, time decided to give Spike several battles where Buffy couldn't deny the offer of his help. Some being more dangerous than others. First up was Spike's discovery, quite accidently, of Riley getting suck jobs from vampire hors. He worried briefly how she would react, worried she might get stake happy, but quickly decided she had to know regardless. He had to keep the summers women safe. At first, Buffy refused to believe him but once she saw the vamp flop house where Riley and the other junkies used she was hurt and angry. The look of betrayal on her face tore at Spike's heart. When she turned towards him with anger in her gaze, her request for help in destroying the nest came as quite a shock. But he recovered instantly and the two of them killed them all within minutes. When Riley tried to confront Spike, Buffy shoved him away physically, screaming her hurt and betrayal demanding he leave and never come back. As Spike tried to slip past, Buffy told him to come with her and they left. Spike followed her all the way to Revello drive. When she paused in the doorway and muttered thank you as she slipped inside, it took everything he had to simply nod and walk away. He knew it was only a crumb and he would take it gladly. Sadly this was only the beginning. Time had another evil lurking, waiting to strike.

Spike thought rather sourly that he had finally met a creature even more twisted than his Dru in the god Glory. Glory was from a hell deminsion. He had learned from Buffy about what Glory was after and why, including Dawn being the key. It shocked him that she told him at all but since Riley she hadn't chased him off anymore when he tried to help. So maybe he hoped she was starting to see him as an ally. He didn't want to push it. So he would help Buffy by protecting Joyce and Dawn while she patrolled and the Scoobies did the book thing. During one of his tips from his crypt to the Summer's house, Glory's nasty little scabs pounced and dragged him back to Glory. Spike thought he had been tortured before, but it was nothing compared to what Glory dished out. She was pissed that her minions had wasted precious time with a vampire. So she punished him for it. Spike wasn't gonna tell the lop-sided bint a thing and told her exactly that. That got him a kick so hard that he was sent crashing thought the door and into the hall. When he tried to stand, his legs would barely work but somehow he made it to the elevator just before the doos opened. He wanted to cry at the sight before him. Buffy stepped forward, catching him as his legs gave way, shouting orders to Giles, Red, and the Whelp standing behind her. While Buffy dragged him in the elevator, Giels and Xander were shooting crossbows and Willow cast a spell to teleport Glory and her minions away.

Spike was in shock, silenced shock, as he watched the doors slide shut. Everyone turned worried glances his way, especially Buffy. He was ure it was because they were all worried that he gave up Dawn. That was until Buffy told him that she saved him becauseshe knew he would protect her sister til he was dust. He knew that he would do just that but never have thought that Buffy believed that. Then she proceeds to shock him even further. She wanted to know if he would be ok to travel because she made the decision to load all of her family and get out of Sunnydale. All he needed was blood and rest and he was good to go. Once everyone was loaded on the old RV, they headed out; Spike stretched out on the bed in the back, noting the windows were already covered in preparation for him (Shock number who the hell knew now). Buffy walked in with a mug of blood and proceeded to fill him in on the plan. Buffy knew, thanks to the research by her faithful pals, that Glory had one single shot at opening the portal and if she missed it that was it. That time was 2 days away. So Buffy wanted to load up everyone and run. If they stayed hidden long enough, then Dawn would be safe. As Buffy handed him the mug and turned to leave, she stopped in the doorway to glance back, she thanked him again and swore she would never forget what he had done for her. As she left, he hieart soared and he drank with a smile.

Well Buffy's plan worked. They stayed away for a week to be sure. During all this, Spike recovered and spent quite a bit of time with Buffy talking and sparring. They spoke like friends and they even laughed together. It was surreal and if it was a dream Spike hoped he would never wake up. He didn't want the run to end but it had to. Now that a week had passed with no sigh of Glory, they headed back. Spike hoped it would be awhile before they saw Glory again, but no such luck. She was waiting for them in the Summer's front yard. Buffy and Spike told the others to stay in the rv in case they failed and had to run again. Then the warriors stepped out. Luckily though, a nice result of the failure of not opening the portal was that Glory was no longer a god. Oh she was pissed and still super strong but not like before. It still took both the Slayer and master vampire but it was finally over – Glory was dead. Spike leaned against the tree, watching everyone embrace and unpack into the house. He was about to head for his crypt when Buffy gave him more than a crumb, she gave him dam near the whole cake. She asked him to come in to join their traditional post-apocalyptic celebration with a shy smile. When he looked up to see everyone nodding, including the whelp, he couldn't say a word because of all of his emotions, so he smiled, nodded and followed Buffy into the housee. He was so overwhelmed by it all that he never noticed that no one had to invite him in.

From that point forward Spike was wondering if time had taken a permanent vacation or if Buffy had switched with her evil twin. The strangest things kept happening. Buffy kept asking him to patrol with her, hang out with her and the Scoobys, and had even asked him to come to her mom's house for dinner. Now Spike never said no but he was flummoxed. He was getting what he wanted. She was maybe starting to see him as more of a man than monster. But Spike kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. He nearly choked when he realized the Slayer might actually be flirting with him. She would giggle, smile and showed interest when he talked. He wasn't sure if he should rejoice or be scared. He finally decided to throw caution to the wind and enjoy the changes. He finally felt accepted, something that had never ever happened to him. He was finally apart of something more. It may not be his complete fantasy, but iwas enough. And sometimes when you accept the world for what it is, time gives you exactly what you want.

For weeks, Spike worked side by side with the Slayer. They were very effectively keeping the evil population of Sunnydale to a minimum. They had found a rhythm with each other that became 2nd nature. They had become in sync with each other that they no longer noticed or looked out for each other. May be that was why it was such a surprise that Buffy crashed into his chest, slamming him into the side of the crypt after snapping the neck of a rather large, nasty demon. His arms had come around her out of reflex and her hands were on his shoulders. They were standing there, frozen, locked in each other's gazes. Spike was about to differ to his witty sarcasm when Buffy suddenly started kissing him. It wasn't shy or hesitant, it was passionate and heated. He only hesitated a moment before he was kissing her back the same way. They held each other tightly, trembling, kissing for what seemed like hours. When Buffy pulled away, Spike was afraid to open his eyes, afraid of what he would see in her face and eyes. When he finally, did, he saw something that he never thought he would ever see – he saw love. When she spoke the words he still couldn't believe it. She loved him. She was proud of him and believed in him. She told him about seeing how much loved he was capable of from Dru, Joyce, and Dawn. She talked about how much she trusted him because of his sacrifice with Glory. She spoke about how much he helped her, supported her and never once made any decisions for her own good. She asked him to forgive her for how badly she used to treat him because he deserved so much more. She wanted him, all of him, soul or not. Spike could barely speak with all his emotions and tears had started to flow freely. He couldn't help it. She hadn't stopped with crumbs, she gave him the whole world. The only way he could give his agreement now was to wrap her up in his arms, spin her around, then kiss her senseless. Time had finally gave him everything he ever wanted – someone to love who would and did love him back. As they walked back to Revello Drive to share the happy news, Spike had more than he ever thought possible – a family, a home, but most importantly he had his conscious, his heart, his soul, his Buffy.

The End!

5


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